Dead Birds
by Rakata Imari
Summary: I never felt lonely as I never knew companionship until I found and lost Arisa" KurenoArisa coupling, lime content


Dead Birds

By: Illia Sadri

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Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. I merely borrow characters and the timeline to make an adaptation of the story.

  
Author Notes: This is a bit of a side project as my mind crashes from convention marathons and my Return to the Cage fanfic arc (yes it is still going…. I just wanted a break) Also… I am a major Kureno/Arisa fan. I think they are both adorable and I cannot help but give them some sort of a sweet ending as we wait for what the manga reveals. 

Rated R for lime content and some language.

Akito had just passed on. It was peaceful for him I suppose as he was resting quietly. He hadn't even seemed any more ill than normal than when I saw him last night. Hatori confirmed it and muttered about it being his time.

It is for the better I suppose. It wasn't easy for him. After taking care of him for so long it became easy to sympathize with what he endured. It was certainly understandable, at least in my own mind, why he lashed out. Why he wouldn't let anybody inside the family.

The window is cracked open a bit to eliminate the potent scent of disease from the room. I walk toward it and sit on the wooden ledge, much like Akito had on those rare days of good health. Still I can picture the small birds he would mutilate and leave dead or dying on the floor. I suppose it is natural due to my own cursed form that I would react in such a matter. Especially after what he had done to me in a fit of rage.

***

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"What is the meaning of this Kureno?" Akito demanded, holding up a small piece of stationary I knew well. I hadn't been careful enough and the frivolous notes she would slip into my pockets after a date were discovered. It was entirely carelessness on my part not to hide it in my own room.

I oddly moved closer to him, ignoring the three dead birds on the window sill in front of him. It caused me to shudder; yet like a loyal servant I continued until I was standing before him within an arm's length. 

I would not deny anything and I took the odd chance that perhaps after spending much of my adult live serving him he would accept this. If Arisa and myself were to have a future together it was important that Akito accept. So I could finally propose to her openly and not be in fear of discovery. 

The small figure before me was the first to speak. "Did you find yourself a whore?" he asked with a smile I had never seen. Was he humored by this or was he waiting for my move? 

The muscles in my throat clench slightly as I try to speak. "Her name… is Arisa Uotani. I met her three years ago in the city. I… I love her. I wish for your permission to marry her." I dropped down to my knees and bow as deep as my spine will allow, to give my utmost respect as he is the head of the family. I do respect him for the burden of the curse, for living despite knowing he was to die at any time. His permission meant so much.

The soft sound of his feet hitting the floor was the only warning given. Pain shot through my neck and my head was forced to the ground. "Traitor! You betrayed me!" I heard him shout as he brought his foot repeatedly on my back and neck. 

It was impossible to move. He wouldn't stop. Never had I given him reason to strike me. For so long it was presumed that the others had done some great injustice to deserve such punishment. Now I head him continue to shout. "I trusted you Kureno! You're like the others… selfish." The words struck as much as the blows. "Nobody else belongs in this family!"  
  
Only once had I ever wished for something genuinely for myself. Nearly three decades I lived for others, lived for Akito. Even in this pain I wanted her near me, to set my head in her lap and she would stroke my hair and kiss the wounds away. It had to be real, this love. 

Eventually he stopped, satisfied with his punishment. His mood swings from furious to strangely gentle. "Kureno? What's wrong?" It had been wondered for years if Akito was fully aware of what he did during his fits. Perhaps he would regain his senses and stop himself of his own will or perhaps his problem was truly the demons of the curse controlling him. I hardly remember the last family head to remember exactly if it was a common trend. All I really could recall was that he had died young as well. 

Those bony fingers grasped at my face but my eyes were diverted elsewhere. One of the corpses of his birds had fallen down, its neck snapped. I wanted to look away from the small body with lifeless eyes but it was impossible to move. 

***

That about a year and a half ago. When he had damaged my neck in his fit of rage. During the months after that incident Hatori and I got closer. He had gone through something so similar. Yet Arisa did not choose to have her memories of our relationship erased. If she had chosen to leave then it would be something more endurable.

***

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"It's time Kureno."

I felt the tears fall down my face at those words. I grasp her hand tighter, feeling the ring that was still secure. I never cried before, yet it seemed right in this case.

Her head fell gently on my shoulder. I winced slightly at the movement as it jolts my neck from inside its brace. I didn't say anything because every touch was welcomed if it came from her. Any feeling that the curse allowed between our bodies was a blessing. Every moment I can recall plays through my mind. From the embarrassing moment in the supermarket to when she discovered my zodiac animal and laughed. Even in the moments on the last night where I told her of the decision. 

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At least she knows what is coming. Hatori had granted us one night together before he took it all away from her. Everything we did in those final hours brought such joy as well as such a deep sorrow. I could feel both of our hearts breaking when I gave her the ring I had intended as an engagement gift, instead a parting keepsake she would know nothing about.

She was brave though, the trait I adored most of Arisa. She kissed me that last time and called over to my cousin. "Alright already. Do me a favor though and give that bastard a nice ass kicking for me. He deserves it." Feisty as ever and somehow kept her voice from breaking as she cried. 

Hatori's hands went over her eyes and I notice his position his legs just in case she planned a cheap shot. Apparently he must have figured out from the other girl he forced to leave that Arisa was a fighter. But it wasn't time to fight. There was no other way.

Even with her eyes blinded I stayed by her, kissing her hands and I would give my final words. "I love you… I love you. I want to be with you forever. You made me so happy. Thank you."

"Kureno…" was all she could reply before the flash of light removed her from my life.

***

I hardly realized that I was walking outside of the compound now. I don't know where I am going as it seems everything is entirely foreign to me. Buildings, trees and people… These are things I rarely indulged in. Now perhaps I could reacquaint myself with normal life. My personal debt to Akito was paid and I no longer had the same obligations as before. 

I'm approaching the downtown area and I notice all sorts of young couples holding hands as they weave through the crowd. Several of them, many about the same age as me, have a child or two in tow, happy families.

We had walked down this street many times when we were together at every chance I could get away from the main estate for a few hours. I hardly recognize any of the shops or restaurants I pass though as it seems it had changed a bit since I last took a walk like this.

Across the street is one restaurant I remember visiting from time to time. I had taken her here for her birthday once. Good food, and a nice atmosphere. 

I need to stop thinking of her. It was time for me to move on. Akito dying should be a new chapter in my life, one where I am free. It is pointless for me to dwell on something that can never be again. Even if I were to see her and call out to her she would not know I existed. If I saw her I doubt I could keep from kissing her on sight. That would probably cause a ruckus.

A growl of the stomach reminds me that I had not eaten yet today. Perhaps it would be nice to grab something from that place. Even if it triggers memories, the food is quite good.

Of course I prove how unaccustomed I am to city life as a car dearly hits me. It is my fault though as I am just somewhat scatterbrained at everything except managing the bank accounts balanced. It's funny to think that at thirty years old I can't cross a street like a normal human being, or go shopping. 

"How many do you have in your party?" A stewardess in a formal uniform asks once I enter the door.

My mind wants to say two, but somehow I manage to say the correct number. "One."

The view from the window is quite nice. I've always liked the second floor of this place. It's easy to just let my mind go off staring at the scenery. Anything different from at home.

"Are you ready to order?" a woman asks. A look toward her, not thinking to look her in the face. Then I notice her hand twirling a pen gently. The ring gave everything away, she still wore it like before. Pretty Arisa.

***

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One night. The last memories that we could make together had to be in one night. Hatori had agreed to give us this time and for that I am grateful.

My hand slipped down toward my pocket, making sure it was still there. It was the final opportunity to give it to her, and sadly it wasn't for the proposal I had contemplated for months beforehand. "Arisa?"

She was still in shock as she sat on her mattress. It was impossible for her to understand what it meant to be a Sohma. To live with a curse that isolated the bearers from normal society. She didn't know why Akito was so against anyone in our family finding love. I could tell that her heart was breaking as I told her what my older cousin would do in the morning. 

"I've been wanting to give you something." I say, sitting beside her. She looked so lovely, even after working both of her jobs. She never was anything less than amazingly attractive. "I… This was supposed to be for when I propose to you, but I still want you to have it."

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I take it out of my pocket and bring it before her for her approval. Several small diamonds surrounding a blue sapphire in platinum. Years ago I would have considered something so extravagant wasteful, yet it seemed after I met her that changed. What use was it to have the wealth only to have it accumulate and not used for something? If it made her happy then it certainly was something worthwhile. 

The look on her face was priceless. "Good god look at that thing! Don't tell me you actually got that for me!" The girlish giddiness in her voice made me chuckle. She seemed so hardened at times yet there were moments like these where she seemed like a shocked child.

"It's for you." I assured her, wishing I could kiss her without moving my neck at all. "I want you to have it. You won't know it came from me… but you deserve it."

She leaned towards me and kissed me as I slipped the ring onto her work roughened fingers. The first time I met her I knew that once I had touched those lips I wouldn't want to let her go. It had restrained me the first few times I saw her, when I made her angry. 

With one hand she pushed me down to the mattress and slowly undid the buttons of her work shirt. I'd been too shy and awkward to mention sex with her or to fully explore her body. She truly was magnificent as she unclasped the bra and I took my first full look at her breasts. 

Instead of continuing further on undressing herself, she turned her attention to my clothing and one by one undid the buttons to my shirt, taking the care to kiss the skin as it exposed itself. It was the first time I can recall having such desires at such an intense level. 

Once my shirt was wide open she licked my bellybutton and then came back up to kiss my forehead in a much gentler manner than what is common from her. She seemed to know exactly what to do while I was dumbfounded.

I started letting my hands roam on her body, trying to pay attentions to the reactions from various things. I wish I had more time to enjoy this experiment, try certain things that my injury would not allow. It was certainly enjoyable to watch her smirk as I would touch a sensitive spot or tickle her accidentally. 

At some point she removed the black skirt she had worn along with her underwear. I couldn't recall when or how it had happened but it didn't matter to either. We made love on our final night. And not once did we slip and cause my other form to appear. Just a normal loving couple.

***

I don't know how I manage to order the food. Stuttering like a fool and probably blushing at the sight of my feisty darling. Maybe this was fate, seeing her again. There had to be a reason to this. Of course it could very well be the fact I over romanticize anything regarding her. 

The memories keep playing back in my mind as I catch glimpses of her attending other tables or chatting with one of her coworkers. Everything ponds in my head with a vengeance. Giving her the ring, her body, her mood swings, those final moments where she remained strong.

My food arrives and I thank her. Does she realize my attention is entirely on her? She must think it unusual. Or am I performing one of my strange habits people outside look down upon? It's quite possible as I don't keep track of the everyday world much beyond the stocks I manage. 

She finally has gone off and I start picking at my food slowly with my chopsticks. I strain to see her at the other end of the restaurant, sitting on a bar stool. Either taking a break or she was not busy. It was a bit late for lunch yet not yet time for the dinner crowd and it shows as I notice a good deal of empty tables and chairs around me. I get to eat in complete silence.

Eventually the food is gone, even if I could barely remember tasting it or not. She returns again, a smile on her face as she takes my plate and hands me my check. I examine the cost. It's hardly anything. I look in my wallet… I had brought a decent amount of cash with me for some reason. It's not as though it really means anything to me coming from such a family so I take it all out and take it to her as my payment and tip.

I feel her hands for a moment as I hand my payment to her. Another memory goes through my head. When she had held me for the first time and accepted me.

***

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"Why don't you hold me?" Arisa had asked me one night as we sat on her small sofa watching a movie rental on her thirteen inch television set. That didn't matter as I heard her question. It was so innocent, yet she still had no clue. I wanted to hold her and never let her go.   
  
How could I explain it to her? There was no way this can continue with her unaware of the family curse. Only a miracle and the fact she is nowhere near as clumsy as me had kept me in my human form in her presence to this point. "It… It isn't that." I tell her. "It's just complicated."   
  
_It wasn't fair to being her into this curse. She had nothing to do with it and it was enough that I had defied Akito with every time I left the grounds of the main house to see her. She couldn't know._

She raises her eyebrow at me. She isn't satisfied with my rather pathetic explanation. "Complicated? You sure are weird." She turned toward me and jumped at me before I could react. "It's easy, just like…." her voice trailed off once the cloud of smoke appeared around me.

It was strange to look up at her from this viewpoint. I wanted to see how she would react. She knew. Had found out our secret, or at least mine. She would put two and two together soon after that, considering she had known Tohru Honda. Another outsider has found out. "What in the hell?" she gasps. 

"I suppose it makes no point hiding it." I began as I climbed on her lap and rubbed my feathers against her. She was still in shock. "My entire family is cursed. It's been like that for generations. Fourteen of us are cursed with the spirits of the Chinese zodiac. There is the twelve animals, god, and finally the cat who isn't allowed. Every time we are hugged by a member of the opposite gender who is not cursed we transform. It also happens when we become quite ill as well. As you can see, I am the rooster."

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"You're kidding me!"

I shook my head. If only it was a cruel joke. I wouldn't be before her like this. "It isn't. It is the curse of the Sohmas."

She stifles a chuckle. "Wait a minute, you're related to the Prince and Carrot Top aren't you? Don't tell me…"

At the time I had no idea of who she was talking about with her nicknames. It seemed everyone in the family with the exception of Akito and myself had one. But I had never heard of two of my cousins referred to in such a manner. "Prince? Carrot… Top?

"Yuki and Kyo." she finally explained. It had made a bit more sense. I hardly knew either of them beyond the passing glance at the New Year's gathering. 

During the entire time I expected her to start screaming or to be disgusted. For so long she seemed to have her face frozen in her shock. But once she ran her fingers through the reddish brown, almost rusty colored feathers on my wing I could relax. She had accepted it.   
  
I wasn't prepared for when I transformed back to my original form, and I stood there for a minute or so with my naked backside to her before I gathered my wits enough to grab for my clothes. 

Neither of us said anything about the matter and it was a great burden removed. Even if she couldn't understand the curse, even if she would never feel the same embarrassment of each transformation, it was no longer hidden. 

***

"Sir…. This is far too much. It's at least five times over what the bill is!" Arisa called out as she caught my hand as I opened the door. Just like the time she had tracked me down, she was panting from the quick sprint. 

I smile for her, as I knew full well how much I had given and how much the bill had been. "It's a tip."

Her mouth drops open. "No way! This is way too much! Are you crazy?" She often groused about when we were still together about how cheap people were when they tipped her. It was time that someone did her a favor. 

"Don't worry about it. Get yourself something nice. You'll probably put it to better use than me." For the years of love we shared it si the least I can do. Even if she can't remember any longer.

She tugs at my hand again as I try to leave, her bright eyes shining in what I believe may be gratitude. "Can I at least get your name? And thank you so much!"

"My name?…. It is Kureno Sohma."

She quickly writes down something on a little piece of stationary in her pocket. She places it in my hand. "It's my number. If you wanna get together or something call me. Oh, my name is Arisa Uotani by the way."

The name still sounds lovely on her tongue. "Beautiful name…" I take the paper and place it in my shirt pocket for safe keeping. "Maybe if I have the time we should have dinner together. It'll be my treat. Of course, I do work quite a bit so I'll have to figure how to get a night off… Oh well. It was nice meeting you." Again… My mouth almost added that word. 

As I walk home it is starting to get slightly chilly and a few stray autumn leave blow in my face. 

I hadn't been lonely before I met her. I knew nothing of companionship and it was impossible to feel any sort of remorse of not having something that was never desired. Only once had I wanted, and lost it. 

Now it was lonely, every night alone every scene plays in my head in a different order. The last moments, the betrayal by Akito, Our first meeting, her discovery of the curse. I saw it vividly, even the small tender moments we had.

Akito being gone though meant that no more birds would die. My ties to him could only go to the grave and no further. I was free, and already found a piece to remedying the eternal loneliness thrust upon me.

One day I will be able to give Arisa a ring again for the proper reason. 

Thank you Akito. For making me appreciate my second chance. 


End file.
